I am sleep-deprived. I stayed up the entire night re-writing an essay on Benedictine monks. I was, in essence, channeling my inner monk, for I was certainly displaying asceticism. I had written four of the worst pages I ever wrote, so for the sake of my sanity I had to re-write the entire thing. I feel better, but at the same time worse. I look a wreck and I need SLEEP. I have to get up early tomorrow too...
I really look forward to the end of the semester. Its finish will mean that I SURVIVED my first college experience without a major relapse into ED. I have lived in fear of that happening. Yes, I've had a few hiccups. But no major spiral. If I can keep this up I feel I can really make strides against ED. I just realized that in another month or so it will be one year since I truly entered "recovery." I'll admit that I'd tried countless times to recover, but it never stuck the way this time has. I think I really owe it to the support I've received, as well as somewhat convincing myself that I am worth recovery. Also, I want to live. Really live, not just breathing, but living with all my senses.
Love, Colette
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3 comments:
Not sleeping is the worst. It ruins you for the entire next day. You deserve the world's largest high-five for making it through this semester without a relapse - that's more than I can say for myself and I'm seriously proud of you. Hugs xxxxxx
Aww, thanks Alaina!
Hello my love...just wanted to say sorry for being so incredibly AWOL recently and as soon as I'm home - after the 20th - I will be back.
I am so proud of you Colette...you are the queen...és a rainha!
Love you...xxxxx
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